When I remember my younger self, I miss my hairline. I miss my waistline. I miss being able to function on four hours’ sleep nightly for days on end. I miss nothing hurting ever.
But none of that makes me feel old. I feel old when I notice the culture passing me by. Here are two examples.
Lea got a new minivan last year. It’s got all kinds of cool electronic stuff on it, and the learning curve for the screen, the steering wheel controls, and such really wasn’t so bad. It’s a pleasure to use; a fine interstate tool indeed. But guess what? There are a few very expensive ways it could break, and if such happened post-warranty, it might effectively total the vehicle. Kudos to my 2002 and 2007 daily drivers!
Oh, and guess what else? If you don’t explicitly turn it off, it also sends extensive driving data to Honda, and insurance companies can get at it from there. (And who knows if turning it off really works?) But who cares? Well, I think most people who are younger than I don’t. They’ve grown up being surveilled from birth, and they’re very likely to rattle off a dismissive and thoroughly naive “who cares if you’re doing nothing wrong?” at the whole phenomenon.
Get with the times, old man.
The other one that’s chapping me right now is that apparently no amount of complaining could remove Pat McAfee from College GameDay, ESPN’s Saturday morning college football pregame show. It was a longstanding tradition in our house, to the point that if I had something to do outside, I’d start working literally at daybreak on Saturday morning so I could be sat down by 8 to enjoy it.
Then Pat McAfee showed up (full-time on the show, instead of confined to easily ignored segments that occurred elsewhere, which started a couple of years earlier). He’s loud, crass, disrespectful, and occasionally borderline vulgar. He’s also been excellent for ratings. And now Coach Saban sits at the desk, and he and McAfee are friends. Kirk Herbstreit, in my mind the core of the show, credits McAfee with reigniting his interest in the show.
I watched Big Noon Kickoff on Fox last year. This year, accepting that the young people have again screwed me, I’ve relented and returned to College GameDay. McAfee seemed a little more reined in last weekend, so I’m thankful for that. Hoping it keeps some reasonable baseline of dignity, and I think with Saban on it will.
Get with the times, old man.